Well everyone...we have the results and it's wonderful news. We are PREGNANT!!
Sorry for the delay we were able to tell our families and close friends yesterday. I am obviously beyond happy. We found out on Tuesday that our beta was 171, however, on Thursday the beta did not double like the doctors like, it went up to 285 so they wanted a 3rd beta on Saturday morning. The beta came back at 771, which more then doubled from the previous count. The doctors like to see a doubling every 48-72 hours at the very beginning of the pregnancy. The nurses said that we didn't need another blood draw that they were happy with those numbers, so good news!
Our miracle has happened and we are just to thrilled with this blessing. We will be going in at the end of March for our 6week ultrasound. At this ultrasound they will be able to see the baby and possibly a heartbeat.
Tons of emotions right now but still just praying that everything continues to progress nicely. Long ago I knew that any pregnancy I had would not be easy. Forget about all of the the ectopics and the IVF I am still a Type 1 Diabetic and that brings a lot of extra worry to a pregnancy. Nothing, however that I cannot handle.
OMG, I can't believe that I am finally writing this. We will be having a baby in the fall and I am PREGNANT!!!
Thank you so much for all the prayers, love and support.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
The 2 week wait continues
Today, in technical terms I am 10 days past my 3 day transfer (10dp3dt) and so very close to completing the 2 week wait. By the end of this week I will know if I am pregnant or not. A BETA (a pregnancy blood test) will be done to determine if there is any HCG (the pregnancy hormone) in my system and if so how much. Now if there is :), then they will be looking at that number to double every 2 days.
Today, I am very calm and I have been for a couple of days after last weeks hormonal melt down. Do I have any symptoms of pregnancy...I have some but remember the reason the 2ww plays games with you is that most pregnancy symptoms are similar to period symptoms. I am also trying now to compare these symptoms to previous pregnancies as we all know all those ended. Here they are though for your reading pleasure, sorry in advance for too much info.
Today, I am very calm and I have been for a couple of days after last weeks hormonal melt down. Do I have any symptoms of pregnancy...I have some but remember the reason the 2ww plays games with you is that most pregnancy symptoms are similar to period symptoms. I am also trying now to compare these symptoms to previous pregnancies as we all know all those ended. Here they are though for your reading pleasure, sorry in advance for too much info.
- I am very tired.
- My boobs hurt and the veins in my boobs are dark (I know too much info)
- Horrible headache
These are the symptoms that really shouldn't be part of the side effects from the medication, since they just started happening late last week.
On a wonderful note our Michigan State Spartans are Big Ten Tournament Champs and got a #1 seed going into the NCAA tournament. My husband and I couldn't help but remember all of the wonderful memories that we share in East Lansing. Even though we are pushing 30 we couldn't help but wish we were in East Lansing to celebrate like college kids again. I'm sure we wouldn't be able to hang like we used to but you never know.
My husband and I cannot wait to raise little Spartans, we already have our Gabby. She know that if we say Go Green she puts her hands up like a touchdown. I, had to remind my husband that next basketball season there could be a little spartan cheering on his/her future college. The options really are endless in dressing a child in Spartan gear. :)
I would like to say thanks for all the well wishes and prayers. I will post until Wednesday and then return sometime this weekend to let you all know the results. We will be taking a little time to tell our family and close friends before we post it to the world via the blog.
This household is giddy with Spartan pride, I think a new Spartan outfit is needed for the tournament. So I'm off to go shopping and to let myself relax.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
7 Days Past Transfer
This is a hard time in the 2 week wait, at least for me. I'm about 1/2 way there and I'm going crazy. Every twinge, cramp, headache, etc. makes me think I'm getting my period or that I could be pregnant. My husband is great he keeps telling me it's not over until it's over. Friends, I'm a little depressed today, well a lot, I just don't think it has worked. I, of course, want a sign that it has, I need to be puking, my boobs killing and crying all the time, then I would think it had worked.
I am still praying that I am wrong and that I, like I tend to do, am just thinking the worst but hoping for the best. This, is my way of guarding my heart. I am strong, I know that and everyone around me know that, but this is where I break. I have such a inner faith that I am meant to be a mom and it hurts me terribly that my husband and I are having to work this hard and have so much heartache to get there. My dear friend told me the other night, (and I mean no offense to moms that conceived naturally) "Stef, all of this just means that you will look at your own child in a way that no other mom could ever possibly. You and B have worked so hard and that makes the outcome that much sweeter." Thank you to my support group because these are those times when I just need you to hope for me.
I know too well what it would mean to never have a child of my own. My dear Aunt and Uncle, whom I love dearly never had any of their own. We have talked countless hours about my situation and our decision to put so much into this. I know it hurts them probably, as much as me, to see "their princess," go through the same heartache they went through all those years ago. They have been a huge part of my life, you have to wonder if they had any of their own if we would have been so close, I would like to think so but you just never know. I questioned this very early on, "If I was meant to only be an Aunt?"
I asked a good friend of mine who is also going through fertility treatments what she thought about that, she gave me the best response anyone could have ever, "Stef, you aren't just an Aunt. Do you see the way all the kids look at you and the way you and B give your life to making their's better. In life sometimes being "mom-like," doesn't always mean being someones mom it means opening your loving home, your heart and giving all your love to them. Plus you will be an amazing mom and your will always be an incredible aunt." I totally loved the end of the conversation, "Wish we could cry over some Chardonnay but I still fully believe your pregnant, so deal with it."
Love it!!
My thoughts and prayers today are simply reminders of the wonderful people and things in my life and that I stay strong and hold on to the fact that I still could be pregnant. Also, to quit letting my nervousness and fear of another heartbreak stop me from being positive. I ask for some extra prayers today, it's just one of those days.
I am still praying that I am wrong and that I, like I tend to do, am just thinking the worst but hoping for the best. This, is my way of guarding my heart. I am strong, I know that and everyone around me know that, but this is where I break. I have such a inner faith that I am meant to be a mom and it hurts me terribly that my husband and I are having to work this hard and have so much heartache to get there. My dear friend told me the other night, (and I mean no offense to moms that conceived naturally) "Stef, all of this just means that you will look at your own child in a way that no other mom could ever possibly. You and B have worked so hard and that makes the outcome that much sweeter." Thank you to my support group because these are those times when I just need you to hope for me.
I know too well what it would mean to never have a child of my own. My dear Aunt and Uncle, whom I love dearly never had any of their own. We have talked countless hours about my situation and our decision to put so much into this. I know it hurts them probably, as much as me, to see "their princess," go through the same heartache they went through all those years ago. They have been a huge part of my life, you have to wonder if they had any of their own if we would have been so close, I would like to think so but you just never know. I questioned this very early on, "If I was meant to only be an Aunt?"
I asked a good friend of mine who is also going through fertility treatments what she thought about that, she gave me the best response anyone could have ever, "Stef, you aren't just an Aunt. Do you see the way all the kids look at you and the way you and B give your life to making their's better. In life sometimes being "mom-like," doesn't always mean being someones mom it means opening your loving home, your heart and giving all your love to them. Plus you will be an amazing mom and your will always be an incredible aunt." I totally loved the end of the conversation, "Wish we could cry over some Chardonnay but I still fully believe your pregnant, so deal with it."
Love it!!
My thoughts and prayers today are simply reminders of the wonderful people and things in my life and that I stay strong and hold on to the fact that I still could be pregnant. Also, to quit letting my nervousness and fear of another heartbreak stop me from being positive. I ask for some extra prayers today, it's just one of those days.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Bed Rest and Begin of 2WW
I am finally done with my best rest and am now able to get back to my blog.
Transfer Day
We had our transfer as planned at 10:45am on Friday morning. Although, I have been to our clinic many many times there is something about transfer day that makes me emotional and grateful to their staff for being a part of our journey. One of my favorite nurses, Fran came and got me and I was extremely relieved, she will answer any and all questions you have and she is very gentle. The area where the transfer happens is in a back area of the clinic, it looks much more like a hospital setting. There Fran got me situated and into my bed, where I could get prepared.
Just a little reminder, girls don't forget to get your toes done before you have your transfer, oh and please don't forget to shave your legs :)
The embryos did well and 2 thawed just perfectly, typically only 80% of embryos thaw correctly. We we thrilled to hear that. Dr. Dodds said they looked wonderful, embryos have different grades.
The transfer was a little different than previous transfers because of the new protocol of injecting HCG straight into my uterus before the embryos were transferred. I wasn't even sure what to expect when I was wheeled into the operating room. The transfer begins much like a pap smear, girls you know how it goes, your feet in stirrups legs wide open. The big difference is that with an IVF transfer they need to prop your bottom up so that they can look clear to your cervix. So anyway enough of that, the HCG protocol calls for the doctor to inject the HCG with a catheter similar to the one used for the embryos. Then the fun part you have to lay there in that same fun position for 8 mins.
After the 8 mins. then a new catheter is used to inject our beautiful embryos. Pretty simple. After that I had to lay with my legs up for an hour. I again, am not a sit still type of person, I kept on asking my husband, it it time yet. I was ready to go home. They finally came in and said you can go home.
...this was my face
We drove home, with my feet on the dash laid back and the bed rest began. All day Friday I laid around with my feet in the air, my sissy, Ang came over with my nephew Mason. This was so wonderful I love watching my husband with him. Most of you reading this know us well enough to know that we LOVE being an Aunt and Uncle. Saturday and Sunday were much of the same, just laying on the couch. My niece Gabby came to keep me company on Sunday.
Now the famous 2 week wait (2ww) begins. Anyone who has gone through IVF knows well that this is the horrible 2 weeks after the transfer before you can find out if the procedure has worked or not. It's really is terrible, every little twinge, cramp, etc. gets you thinking. Doctors tell you not to take home pregnancy tests because they can be wrong and really the pregnancy hormone has already been injected into you so that can cause false negatives or positives. I, however, do not listen to doctors, I will start taking home pregnancy tests at some point. I'm not sure when this time but much closer to the end of that 2ww.
Today is 4 days past my transfer and I am still going to lay low although I could get moving a bit. To me this is part of that decision to not work, that I am going to relax and take everything in. I have already been asked, "Do you feel pregnant?" That is such a hard question for me because I very well know how many medications are in my system and how many I have to continue with all of which can make me "feel pregnant." I am also too scared to say out loud either way. Am I optimistic, yes. Have I put my Faith in this, yes. This is one of those moments in life when you really have to just pray.
I am really excited though and just pray that this is the time.
Transfer Day
We had our transfer as planned at 10:45am on Friday morning. Although, I have been to our clinic many many times there is something about transfer day that makes me emotional and grateful to their staff for being a part of our journey. One of my favorite nurses, Fran came and got me and I was extremely relieved, she will answer any and all questions you have and she is very gentle. The area where the transfer happens is in a back area of the clinic, it looks much more like a hospital setting. There Fran got me situated and into my bed, where I could get prepared.
 |
| Here I am right before being taking in for the transfer...cute I know :) |
The transfer was a little different than previous transfers because of the new protocol of injecting HCG straight into my uterus before the embryos were transferred. I wasn't even sure what to expect when I was wheeled into the operating room. The transfer begins much like a pap smear, girls you know how it goes, your feet in stirrups legs wide open. The big difference is that with an IVF transfer they need to prop your bottom up so that they can look clear to your cervix. So anyway enough of that, the HCG protocol calls for the doctor to inject the HCG with a catheter similar to the one used for the embryos. Then the fun part you have to lay there in that same fun position for 8 mins.
After the 8 mins. then a new catheter is used to inject our beautiful embryos. Pretty simple. After that I had to lay with my legs up for an hour. I again, am not a sit still type of person, I kept on asking my husband, it it time yet. I was ready to go home. They finally came in and said you can go home.
...this was my face
 |
| This is how Gabby helped with my bed rest, she rested with me :) |
Today is 4 days past my transfer and I am still going to lay low although I could get moving a bit. To me this is part of that decision to not work, that I am going to relax and take everything in. I have already been asked, "Do you feel pregnant?" That is such a hard question for me because I very well know how many medications are in my system and how many I have to continue with all of which can make me "feel pregnant." I am also too scared to say out loud either way. Am I optimistic, yes. Have I put my Faith in this, yes. This is one of those moments in life when you really have to just pray.
I am really excited though and just pray that this is the time.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Frozen Embryo Procedure
As promised I wanted to explain further how the actual Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) procedure actually works. This is our 2nd attempt at the FET, the first transfer was a Fresh Cycle Transfer. The difference between a fresh and a frozen cycle is that during a fresh cycle the procedure consists of actually getting as many eggs as you can and then creating embryos to be transferred either during that procedure or to be frozen for further FET procedures. Following our Fresh Cycle we were left with 6 embryos, we used two during the 2nd attempt and we are planning on using another 2 this time.
A FET is a much less invasive procedure and really is quite a bit less painful, even though there is still pain associated with it, for me it really is much less painful. Our clinic has 2 different protocols for a FET transfer, there is a short and long protocol. The short protocol we did the previous time and requires a shorter period of time which means many more trips to the doctor and for some quite a bit more pain, I would have to agree. My clinic is mainly doing a long protocol procedure at this point because they feel it is much less stressful on the woman's body and really is much easier.
With this protocol we will also be doing a brand new procedure in which they will inject HCG (the pregnancy hormone) directly into my uterus. The thought being that by injecting the HCG we are giving the embryos an even better chance of survival. With the previous transfers we have taken HCG in form of a "trigger shot," meaning that we are triggering the body into "pregnancy." There have been quite a few studies suggesting that this new procedure is much more successful. To me any new and proven studies is a no brainier, I of course said lets go for it.
As for the actual transfer they must "thaw" our embryos. We have discussed with our doctors many times that we are comfortable with transferring 2 embryos at a time. Remember any or all of these embryos could take leading to multiples. The thought of transferring more than 2 is an ethical standpoint for our doctor. He truly believes that the possibility of transferring more than 2 could lead to multiples which could cause complications to my health, as well as, the babies. We have, however, said that if for some reason not all of the 2 embryos thaw we would consider thawing the other 2 and transfer more than 2. Transferring more than 2 and being pregnant with anything more the twins terrifies me, my health being a Type 1 Diabetic and that of our babies is so at risk that it really makes us nervous.
The doctors will thaw our embryos on Thursday. On Friday morning, our Transfer Day, I will take a Valium to take the edge off (love that stuff :)), and then head to the clinic. Once the correct time hits the doctors will first inject my uterus with the HCG. Once they have completed this they will place the 2 embryos in a catheter and carefully guide that catheter through my cervix. Previously, they have measured the dimensions of my uterus to make sure they are placing the embryos in the best spot for implantation. Once the doctor is at the correct spot he will inject both our embryos...and then that's it.
Our doctor is a wonderful man of God, he always says a little prayer right after the transfer. I appreciate this so much because this was the reason we chose him for our doctor.
Then we are taken back to our room and the bed rest begins, I will lay there with my feet in the air for around an hour and then head home. The bed rest will continue for a good 3 days and then the horrible 2 week wait begins. The 2 week wait in the fertility world is the 2 weeks that you have to wait before you find out if the procedure works or not. They tell you not to take any home pregnancy tests during this time because the injections of the HCG can give you false negs or positives. I, however, being completely impatient take tons.
Ok so that the Frozen Embryo Transfer in a nutshell. I encourage you to do research of your own on the internet as it really it much more complex then this but I'm giving you the low down in everyday terms.
My nurse has called and our transfer will take place on March 2 at 10:45 am, please say a special prayer at that time for us that our dear embryos find a warm home within my uterus. Please also pray that I don't make myself too crazy during the best rest. :) I will continue to post during the 2 week wait, at some point I will take a brief time off to find out whether it has worked or not. I will tell my family the results and then let you all know good or bad.
A FET is a much less invasive procedure and really is quite a bit less painful, even though there is still pain associated with it, for me it really is much less painful. Our clinic has 2 different protocols for a FET transfer, there is a short and long protocol. The short protocol we did the previous time and requires a shorter period of time which means many more trips to the doctor and for some quite a bit more pain, I would have to agree. My clinic is mainly doing a long protocol procedure at this point because they feel it is much less stressful on the woman's body and really is much easier.
With this protocol we will also be doing a brand new procedure in which they will inject HCG (the pregnancy hormone) directly into my uterus. The thought being that by injecting the HCG we are giving the embryos an even better chance of survival. With the previous transfers we have taken HCG in form of a "trigger shot," meaning that we are triggering the body into "pregnancy." There have been quite a few studies suggesting that this new procedure is much more successful. To me any new and proven studies is a no brainier, I of course said lets go for it.
As for the actual transfer they must "thaw" our embryos. We have discussed with our doctors many times that we are comfortable with transferring 2 embryos at a time. Remember any or all of these embryos could take leading to multiples. The thought of transferring more than 2 is an ethical standpoint for our doctor. He truly believes that the possibility of transferring more than 2 could lead to multiples which could cause complications to my health, as well as, the babies. We have, however, said that if for some reason not all of the 2 embryos thaw we would consider thawing the other 2 and transfer more than 2. Transferring more than 2 and being pregnant with anything more the twins terrifies me, my health being a Type 1 Diabetic and that of our babies is so at risk that it really makes us nervous.
The doctors will thaw our embryos on Thursday. On Friday morning, our Transfer Day, I will take a Valium to take the edge off (love that stuff :)), and then head to the clinic. Once the correct time hits the doctors will first inject my uterus with the HCG. Once they have completed this they will place the 2 embryos in a catheter and carefully guide that catheter through my cervix. Previously, they have measured the dimensions of my uterus to make sure they are placing the embryos in the best spot for implantation. Once the doctor is at the correct spot he will inject both our embryos...and then that's it.
Our doctor is a wonderful man of God, he always says a little prayer right after the transfer. I appreciate this so much because this was the reason we chose him for our doctor.
Then we are taken back to our room and the bed rest begins, I will lay there with my feet in the air for around an hour and then head home. The bed rest will continue for a good 3 days and then the horrible 2 week wait begins. The 2 week wait in the fertility world is the 2 weeks that you have to wait before you find out if the procedure works or not. They tell you not to take any home pregnancy tests during this time because the injections of the HCG can give you false negs or positives. I, however, being completely impatient take tons.
Ok so that the Frozen Embryo Transfer in a nutshell. I encourage you to do research of your own on the internet as it really it much more complex then this but I'm giving you the low down in everyday terms.
My nurse has called and our transfer will take place on March 2 at 10:45 am, please say a special prayer at that time for us that our dear embryos find a warm home within my uterus. Please also pray that I don't make myself too crazy during the best rest. :) I will continue to post during the 2 week wait, at some point I will take a brief time off to find out whether it has worked or not. I will tell my family the results and then let you all know good or bad.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Wonderful Weekend Before Transfer Week
This weekend was amazing and everything we needed before our transfer week began. It was my niece, Gabby's Birthday Party and we got to spend Sunday with our nephew, Mason and my husband's family. Gabby's Birthday Party was at our house and it was so much fun. I made her Elmo Cupcakes as her cake and they turned out so good and cute. Having our home filled with family and so much love was wonderful and relaxing.
My husband and I adore Gabby, she brings so much joy to our house whenever she is over. Our basement has turned into her play area, who am I kidding the whole house has been taken over :) We, however, wouldn't want it any other way.
That brings us to "transfer week," our frozen embryo transfer is still scheduled for Friday. We won't know what time until Wednesday, as everything has to be administered at just the right time. Following the transfer I will be on strict bed-rest for 3 days or until Sunday evening. I will post later this week about how the actual procedure works.
I'm anxious, excited and ready. I know this week will go by so fast, which means I need to make sure we have food in the house and we are prepared for me to be out of commission for 3 days. As for medication week we will be adding 2 different shots and 3 different pill medications to our medication list.
One of the shots is Progesterone, this shot is nasty, it's oil based and comes in a "Large" needle, which goes in the upper butt area. My husband will have to give me this shot, at this point he is an old-pro but during our first procedure I made him practice on a peach. I told him over and over again, "You have to commit, just jab it in there. I will be mad if you are too delicate and don't do it quickly." I know you may be thinking, wow, remember I am a Type-1 Diabetic and although I have an insulin pump now I used to give myself 3-5 shots daily, I'm good with needles, as long as it's a medical professional or myself giving them. My husband has it down at this point though.
The Progesterone will start Tuesday. Progesterone is an EXTREMELY important medication, because without proper progesterone any pregnancy will fail. During an IVF cycle because of other drugs that you are taking the progesterone levels can be lower, which is why they are given before the transfer and continue even after. Progesterone is needed to secure the implantation of the embryos to the uterine lining and to aid in the growth of the embryos.
 |
| Gabby's Elmo Cupcakes |
 |
| We, of course had to get her a T-Ball, sports are a must in our family. As ex-softball and baseball players we can't wait to teach her. Look at her face so excited to be playing with Uncle B! |
 |
| Her Mom and Dad bought her these awesome balloons, which she loved. She is everything to me and so adorable, I just can't believe she's 2! |
That brings us to "transfer week," our frozen embryo transfer is still scheduled for Friday. We won't know what time until Wednesday, as everything has to be administered at just the right time. Following the transfer I will be on strict bed-rest for 3 days or until Sunday evening. I will post later this week about how the actual procedure works.
I'm anxious, excited and ready. I know this week will go by so fast, which means I need to make sure we have food in the house and we are prepared for me to be out of commission for 3 days. As for medication week we will be adding 2 different shots and 3 different pill medications to our medication list.
One of the shots is Progesterone, this shot is nasty, it's oil based and comes in a "Large" needle, which goes in the upper butt area. My husband will have to give me this shot, at this point he is an old-pro but during our first procedure I made him practice on a peach. I told him over and over again, "You have to commit, just jab it in there. I will be mad if you are too delicate and don't do it quickly." I know you may be thinking, wow, remember I am a Type-1 Diabetic and although I have an insulin pump now I used to give myself 3-5 shots daily, I'm good with needles, as long as it's a medical professional or myself giving them. My husband has it down at this point though.
The Progesterone will start Tuesday. Progesterone is an EXTREMELY important medication, because without proper progesterone any pregnancy will fail. During an IVF cycle because of other drugs that you are taking the progesterone levels can be lower, which is why they are given before the transfer and continue even after. Progesterone is needed to secure the implantation of the embryos to the uterine lining and to aid in the growth of the embryos.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Ultrasound Update
My husband and I went into the fertility clinic bright and early this morning for an ultrasound. The ultrasound was needed to check the progression of my uterine lining. To be honest it was nice to see my uterus again and to know that my uterus looks healthy...it is one of my last female organs that actually seems to work correctly so I'm protective of it, haha. I'm sorry if that's too much info but I really don't have a filter when it comes to talking about my female areas. Anyway, everything looked great and the lining it right where it needs to be for the transfer next week so we kept the date of Friday March 2nd.
It was nice to be at the clinic I really haven't been there a whole lot recently because we've been able to do so much from Holland. The staff at the clinic is wonderful, they are friendly and so compassionate. We met with our nurse Sandy. Sandy was the first nurse we ever met when we started this journey and she has been a constant along with a couple other nurses from the very beginning. I appreciate her so much because she is always there for the good and bad. Our clinic is fabulous and I would recommend it to anyone, they put a lot of their own emotion into it and really feel for you and your situation.
So, everything went really well. I, however had a little bit of an emotion breakdown while talking to Sandy. I have a really hard time letting my guard down and getting too excited about the procedure. I am just so scared to be let down again. I do, however, have good feeling about this procedure, I've had a wonderful few weeks of no stress, a wonderful massage last night and a wonderful peace of mind from my family and friends. I just don't want to have that feeling again of heartbreak. Poor Sandy knows all to well, she has unfortunately always been the one to break the bad news to me. It was nice to see the confidence in her voice while speaking about our case and hearing that she just knows that it will work for us. :)
It's 1 week left until the procedure and my emotions are definitely on high alert and the tears have started to flow. Being alone the past few days as my husband is at work I have the time to just think, probably a good and a bad thing. I think in some ways this time off and this alone time has given me time to heal a bit and to reaffirm that I was meant to be a mother.
Our decision sits stronger with me then ever that we will be parents and our decision to go forward with IVF was right. Maybe, as my Aunt Ruth says, "It's a God Thing," where for a split moment there is just peace and you know that your decision is right and going forward is just so much easier. I know for sure it's a Gramps thing, telling me to keep going and that he's right with me. My prayer for myself and for my husband and for everyone else is that we be at peace, there are just some things in life that you just have to rely on FAITH to get your through!
It was nice to be at the clinic I really haven't been there a whole lot recently because we've been able to do so much from Holland. The staff at the clinic is wonderful, they are friendly and so compassionate. We met with our nurse Sandy. Sandy was the first nurse we ever met when we started this journey and she has been a constant along with a couple other nurses from the very beginning. I appreciate her so much because she is always there for the good and bad. Our clinic is fabulous and I would recommend it to anyone, they put a lot of their own emotion into it and really feel for you and your situation.
So, everything went really well. I, however had a little bit of an emotion breakdown while talking to Sandy. I have a really hard time letting my guard down and getting too excited about the procedure. I am just so scared to be let down again. I do, however, have good feeling about this procedure, I've had a wonderful few weeks of no stress, a wonderful massage last night and a wonderful peace of mind from my family and friends. I just don't want to have that feeling again of heartbreak. Poor Sandy knows all to well, she has unfortunately always been the one to break the bad news to me. It was nice to see the confidence in her voice while speaking about our case and hearing that she just knows that it will work for us. :)
It's 1 week left until the procedure and my emotions are definitely on high alert and the tears have started to flow. Being alone the past few days as my husband is at work I have the time to just think, probably a good and a bad thing. I think in some ways this time off and this alone time has given me time to heal a bit and to reaffirm that I was meant to be a mother.
Our decision sits stronger with me then ever that we will be parents and our decision to go forward with IVF was right. Maybe, as my Aunt Ruth says, "It's a God Thing," where for a split moment there is just peace and you know that your decision is right and going forward is just so much easier. I know for sure it's a Gramps thing, telling me to keep going and that he's right with me. My prayer for myself and for my husband and for everyone else is that we be at peace, there are just some things in life that you just have to rely on FAITH to get your through!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Past Couple of Days
Well, the past couple of days have been a little rough. I can handle pain but the one thing that can get me down is headaches, which have been pounding for the past couple of days. Today is much better, thank goodness. I spoke with my doctor yesterday and the reason for the headaches is the Estrogen. Simply put take that headache you usually get when you are about to get your period and increase it by 20%.
As a reminder, I am currently still taking the Lupron and have also added Estrogen, which has increased from 1 pill to 2 pills a day, it will again be increasing to 3 pills on Thursday. The reason for the headaches is that my body is adjusting to the increase in Estrogen, again tricking my body into a natural conception. I can feel changes to my uterous and ovaries. At times this is very uncomfortable but also a good thing because it means the meds are doing their jobs.
Today, I will be getting a much needed massage to help me further relax, a gift from my wonderful Grams. My Grams is a wonderful, caring, strong woman who is the rock of my family, she always knows how to make me feel better. As well as, to remind me the other day of how proud she is of me for not giving up, on that particular day that was all I needed.
Tomorrow is really kind of the beginning of the push until the actual transfer. My husband and I will be going in for an ultrasound to see how my uterine lining is coming along. I will be going to my fertility clinic for this. The doctor will look for a thickening in the uterine wall that will hopefully create a nice home for the embryos to latch onto.
Today it really hit me that we will be having our transfer next Friday. I started crying just thinking about it. I am so grateful that God has blessed these wonderful doctors with the ability to perform such a procedure. I have only explained a small part of IVF, the whole process is so interesting and really incredible to grasp that it is even possible. My husband and I have incredible faith that this is the time. :)
As a reminder, I am currently still taking the Lupron and have also added Estrogen, which has increased from 1 pill to 2 pills a day, it will again be increasing to 3 pills on Thursday. The reason for the headaches is that my body is adjusting to the increase in Estrogen, again tricking my body into a natural conception. I can feel changes to my uterous and ovaries. At times this is very uncomfortable but also a good thing because it means the meds are doing their jobs.
Today, I will be getting a much needed massage to help me further relax, a gift from my wonderful Grams. My Grams is a wonderful, caring, strong woman who is the rock of my family, she always knows how to make me feel better. As well as, to remind me the other day of how proud she is of me for not giving up, on that particular day that was all I needed.
Tomorrow is really kind of the beginning of the push until the actual transfer. My husband and I will be going in for an ultrasound to see how my uterine lining is coming along. I will be going to my fertility clinic for this. The doctor will look for a thickening in the uterine wall that will hopefully create a nice home for the embryos to latch onto.
Today it really hit me that we will be having our transfer next Friday. I started crying just thinking about it. I am so grateful that God has blessed these wonderful doctors with the ability to perform such a procedure. I have only explained a small part of IVF, the whole process is so interesting and really incredible to grasp that it is even possible. My husband and I have incredible faith that this is the time. :)
Friday, February 17, 2012
Frugal Living: My Stockpile
I LOVE my stockpile. I will never go to the store because I ran out of cereal and pay $3.50 for a box, each of these boxes cost me maybe $.50 each. I have not paid for toothpaste, lotion or body wash since I started couponing, which is awesome. My stockpile is not anything too crazy, however, it has saved me tons of money.
Some may think it's a little crazy but I'm sure those are the same people that paid $9 for the same bottle of lotion at bath and body works that I got for free. Couponing is the easiest way to save money on everyday purchases. My husband often makes fun of me too, but as you can see he never runs out of his cereal or body wash. Often people worry that you only can coupon with unhealthy items, which is so not true I have 15 boxes of pasta that are all the "healthy" version, whole wheat. For anyone that is interested my blog friends, Saving Addiction http://www.savingaddiction.com/, will be hosting a free couponing class at Ridge Point Church in Holland, on Thursday, Feb 23rd @ 6:30pm.
Couponing really has been a large reason for being able to save so much money. My stockpile is like my little grocery store downstairs.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Do We Grieve?
I was emailed last night from a friend of a friend who is dealing with the loss of a child via ectopic and now face a road that will probably lead to IVF. She wanted to know about whether or not I grieve the children we have lost. This was a topic I wasn't sure if I would tackle as it has been so very private. I have not let in even some of my closest friends/family.
To answer the question, "Do We Grieve?", YES! Do I think we have completely taken the time to grieve fully, no. When I think about grief I think about the loss of my dear Gramps and the feeling of my heart just hurting, it still hurts even as I am typing this. That is the same feeling that I get when I think about the loss of our babies and even our embryos through the process of IVF. Yes, I grieve those embryos. They are a part of my husband and I and a part of our hope for a baby.
There is just so much to grieve during this process. For me I had to grieve the obvious loss of our babies, but also the loss of the ability to get pregnant the traditional way and everything that meant. This was very hard for me, loosing my tubes was horrible because I knew it meant that we would have to work so hard and give up so much to have a baby. My husband and I began dating when I was 15 and he was 16 we always talked of having a big family. We have so much love for each other that we have always known that our home would be full of children. The even thought of never having a baby and having a healthy pregnancy hurts my heart.
There have definitely been people that do not understand that, which, is why at times I have kept things very private. For some people the thought of grieving the babies we loss via ectopic made sense but why the embryos. Personally, I just don't feel like I have to explain this to anyone, but I will explain it to you all, "my blog friends." :) Those embryos were created with my eggs and my husband's sperm, they could have developed into our children. Before the transfer you are given a picture of your embryos to take home with you. My mom is so cute she calls them her Grand-embryos!
I have unfortunately had to listen as quite a family members and quite a few dear friends, whom I consider family have told us that they are having problems conceiving. Our hearts hurt so much for them because we knew what they were feeling. With each of them I have said, "Remember to feel during this, be bitter, mad, sad, heart broken, whatever it takes so that you don't forget that this will mold the rest of your lives."
A friend of mine in the IVF world sent me this prayer after we loss our last baby. I would like to share it with you.
Thank you, Lord, for all the blessing in my life. Help me to remember them as I face the challenges of infertiliy. I pray that I can surrender myself into your hands. Let me accept the reality of this situation and have the wisdom and courage to take action where I can. Strengthen my body, mind and spirt to endure the trials of infertiliyt. Keep me ever mindful of the needs of others and grant us your peace. Amen.
Am I at peace with all of this, no but I try to be as much as I can. There are always the questions of why us, but I know that I have not been given anything that I cannot handle. I look to the blessings in my life, I think about my niece Gabby who was born 3 months after we loss that last baby and I know she has been an angel here on Earth. She has helped her Aunt Steffie to be ok.
To answer the question, "Do We Grieve?", YES! Do I think we have completely taken the time to grieve fully, no. When I think about grief I think about the loss of my dear Gramps and the feeling of my heart just hurting, it still hurts even as I am typing this. That is the same feeling that I get when I think about the loss of our babies and even our embryos through the process of IVF. Yes, I grieve those embryos. They are a part of my husband and I and a part of our hope for a baby.
There is just so much to grieve during this process. For me I had to grieve the obvious loss of our babies, but also the loss of the ability to get pregnant the traditional way and everything that meant. This was very hard for me, loosing my tubes was horrible because I knew it meant that we would have to work so hard and give up so much to have a baby. My husband and I began dating when I was 15 and he was 16 we always talked of having a big family. We have so much love for each other that we have always known that our home would be full of children. The even thought of never having a baby and having a healthy pregnancy hurts my heart.
There have definitely been people that do not understand that, which, is why at times I have kept things very private. For some people the thought of grieving the babies we loss via ectopic made sense but why the embryos. Personally, I just don't feel like I have to explain this to anyone, but I will explain it to you all, "my blog friends." :) Those embryos were created with my eggs and my husband's sperm, they could have developed into our children. Before the transfer you are given a picture of your embryos to take home with you. My mom is so cute she calls them her Grand-embryos!
I have unfortunately had to listen as quite a family members and quite a few dear friends, whom I consider family have told us that they are having problems conceiving. Our hearts hurt so much for them because we knew what they were feeling. With each of them I have said, "Remember to feel during this, be bitter, mad, sad, heart broken, whatever it takes so that you don't forget that this will mold the rest of your lives."
A friend of mine in the IVF world sent me this prayer after we loss our last baby. I would like to share it with you.
Thank you, Lord, for all the blessing in my life. Help me to remember them as I face the challenges of infertiliy. I pray that I can surrender myself into your hands. Let me accept the reality of this situation and have the wisdom and courage to take action where I can. Strengthen my body, mind and spirt to endure the trials of infertiliyt. Keep me ever mindful of the needs of others and grant us your peace. Amen.
Am I at peace with all of this, no but I try to be as much as I can. There are always the questions of why us, but I know that I have not been given anything that I cannot handle. I look to the blessings in my life, I think about my niece Gabby who was born 3 months after we loss that last baby and I know she has been an angel here on Earth. She has helped her Aunt Steffie to be ok.
Monday, February 13, 2012
One Step Closer
I finally got my period and all blood work came back great. During a frozen embryo transfer procedure you are essentially trying to mimic a natural conception. By starting on the Lupron the doctors are able to, through medication do just that. The reason for the blood work is that the Estrogen levels in your system have to be just right, anything too high or too low can effect how your body will react to the procedure. Mine are just right so now the next stage can begin.
I will be lowering my dosage of Lupron and then tomorrow be adding Estrace (Estrogen in the medication form), the dosage of Estrace will increase every few days.
Next week sometime the fun will begin. More meds will be added and things really start going quickly. During the process of mimicking a natural conception, we also have to get my uterus ready for just that. The lining of my uterus will need to thicken, to develop and soft warm home for the embryos. I will be going in for ultrasounds to make sure the lining of my uterus is thickening as it should, also to monitor the Estrogen levels, again this can be very important in faking my body to believe that I can getting pregnant the old-fashioned way.
Following all of this, the actual embryo transfer should be either March 1st or 2nd. Please pray for Brandon and I during this time. This process plays with your emotions more than you could ever possibly know. We are so very excited for it to work this time, however, in the back of our minds there is always the possibility that it won't. We are staying positive and really excited. Please also pray for our families and those close to us. This is one of the hardest parts for me watching those around me be so sad. They have been amazing support to us and have also had their heart's broken as they too have to watch us go through everything. I know for me looking in my mom's eyes is extremely hard, she hates to watch me hurt and she also is heartbroken because she is so ready to hold my baby.
So exciting and emotional days are to follow. For me the most emotional time is leading just up to the procedure. We want for a child so badly, and unless you have been told that you cannot have children without alternative methods you can't even begin to imagine what that feels like. That want leads to such lows and hopefully an unbelievable high when the procedure works.
Thanks again for all the prayers and support and for the continued prayers and support!
I will be lowering my dosage of Lupron and then tomorrow be adding Estrace (Estrogen in the medication form), the dosage of Estrace will increase every few days.
Next week sometime the fun will begin. More meds will be added and things really start going quickly. During the process of mimicking a natural conception, we also have to get my uterus ready for just that. The lining of my uterus will need to thicken, to develop and soft warm home for the embryos. I will be going in for ultrasounds to make sure the lining of my uterus is thickening as it should, also to monitor the Estrogen levels, again this can be very important in faking my body to believe that I can getting pregnant the old-fashioned way.
Following all of this, the actual embryo transfer should be either March 1st or 2nd. Please pray for Brandon and I during this time. This process plays with your emotions more than you could ever possibly know. We are so very excited for it to work this time, however, in the back of our minds there is always the possibility that it won't. We are staying positive and really excited. Please also pray for our families and those close to us. This is one of the hardest parts for me watching those around me be so sad. They have been amazing support to us and have also had their heart's broken as they too have to watch us go through everything. I know for me looking in my mom's eyes is extremely hard, she hates to watch me hurt and she also is heartbroken because she is so ready to hold my baby.
So exciting and emotional days are to follow. For me the most emotional time is leading just up to the procedure. We want for a child so badly, and unless you have been told that you cannot have children without alternative methods you can't even begin to imagine what that feels like. That want leads to such lows and hopefully an unbelievable high when the procedure works.
Thanks again for all the prayers and support and for the continued prayers and support!
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Still Waiting
This is probably too much information but oh well...I am still waiting for my period. Lots of people have asked, "Have you started the next set of meds yet?" Nope still just waiting, once I get my period I will go for blood work and then next meds will then begin depending on those results. Patience is not a characteristic I have at all so I'm doing my best to relax and just wait.
I tend to not let myself think too far forward but I found myself today thinking, this time next month I could be pregnant! I almost hate to think it or to say it out loud or write it, I'm afraid to jinx it. Just the thought brings tears to my eyes. I've been pregnant before but this time will be so much different and this time getting through that first trimester will be such an answered prayer. For those who have never experienced infertility, there is, at least for me an extreme emptiness and almost a feeling of blame. It's my body that is not allowing us to have children and our family will not be complete until there is a child. I am able however very strong and I can get through this waiting period, because there is an even more unbearable waiting period that will happen just after the transfer. It's call the 2 week wait, this is the time between transfer and your first blood draw to determine if you are pregnant or not. It is the worst thing ever.
On a wonderful note my husband comes home tomorrow, he has been in California working this entire week. I'm so excited for him to get home, where I tend to be a little high-strong (haha) he is very calm. Calm is good during IVF.
I tend to not let myself think too far forward but I found myself today thinking, this time next month I could be pregnant! I almost hate to think it or to say it out loud or write it, I'm afraid to jinx it. Just the thought brings tears to my eyes. I've been pregnant before but this time will be so much different and this time getting through that first trimester will be such an answered prayer. For those who have never experienced infertility, there is, at least for me an extreme emptiness and almost a feeling of blame. It's my body that is not allowing us to have children and our family will not be complete until there is a child. I am able however very strong and I can get through this waiting period, because there is an even more unbearable waiting period that will happen just after the transfer. It's call the 2 week wait, this is the time between transfer and your first blood draw to determine if you are pregnant or not. It is the worst thing ever.
On a wonderful note my husband comes home tomorrow, he has been in California working this entire week. I'm so excited for him to get home, where I tend to be a little high-strong (haha) he is very calm. Calm is good during IVF.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Why We Continue with IVF
I've been asked over and over again why we continue to put our efforts into IVF when we could begin the adoption process. Well my answer is FAITH. Even before we started this process my husband and I knew we were meant to be parents. After the quest to have a baby did not turn out how we had planned, that fact never changed.
We have put so much into this process: time, money, emotion you name it this process has been exhausting at times. One important tip that I can give couples is that please sit down and really talk about what starting this process means. IVF will test you as a person and as a couple. What I love about my husband and my relationship is that before we started we made a decision and we've stuck to it. That does not mean that someday we may say alright we tried it's time to adopt, however, it does mean that we will put our all into IVF.
For us there were a few factors that we have put into our decision.
1.) Money: I know you may be thinking, "I would spend anything to have a baby," well true I will spend a lot
but I will not allow for our life to be hurt in anyway. We set a cap that we were willing to spend on IVF before we would switch gears to adoption. That was important.
2.) My health: I am a type 1 diabetic and have gone through so much already with the ectopic pregnancies.
3.) Our emotional health: Loosing 3 babies and really in our eyes loosing another 2 through the failed IVF procedures has taken a lot out of us. We had to be really honest about how badly our heart hurts about everything we've been through and the simple fact that we still do not have a child of our own. It really is devastating, but that does not change the fact that we love each other very much and this is what we want.
Of course, there were other things to think about but those were the 3 major things for us. Please just remember to talk it's important.
As I sit here typing this I am baby-sitting my nephew, Mason and he is smiling at me with those big blue eyes. Once again I am reminded that I can handle this physical pain and I can handle the emotional pain because the prize at the end will all be worth it.
We have put so much into this process: time, money, emotion you name it this process has been exhausting at times. One important tip that I can give couples is that please sit down and really talk about what starting this process means. IVF will test you as a person and as a couple. What I love about my husband and my relationship is that before we started we made a decision and we've stuck to it. That does not mean that someday we may say alright we tried it's time to adopt, however, it does mean that we will put our all into IVF.
For us there were a few factors that we have put into our decision.
1.) Money: I know you may be thinking, "I would spend anything to have a baby," well true I will spend a lot
but I will not allow for our life to be hurt in anyway. We set a cap that we were willing to spend on IVF before we would switch gears to adoption. That was important.
2.) My health: I am a type 1 diabetic and have gone through so much already with the ectopic pregnancies.
3.) Our emotional health: Loosing 3 babies and really in our eyes loosing another 2 through the failed IVF procedures has taken a lot out of us. We had to be really honest about how badly our heart hurts about everything we've been through and the simple fact that we still do not have a child of our own. It really is devastating, but that does not change the fact that we love each other very much and this is what we want.
Of course, there were other things to think about but those were the 3 major things for us. Please just remember to talk it's important.
As I sit here typing this I am baby-sitting my nephew, Mason and he is smiling at me with those big blue eyes. Once again I am reminded that I can handle this physical pain and I can handle the emotional pain because the prize at the end will all be worth it.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Frugal Living: Saving Money
I've been asked by friends, how do you do it? If there is anything that people know about IVF it's that it's not cheap. Before deciding on IVF really research the cost, insurance typically does not cover IVF.
Being frugal is how I am able to save money, be a one income family and still enjoy all that life has to offer. I've included below some tips to finding savings in your everyday life.
Couponing
Okay, yes I coupon, yes I have a stockpile and YES COUPONING HAS SAVED ME THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS! Many people say are you one of those crazy, extreme couponing ladies? I hesitate sometimes, because although I do not obsess and spend hours and hours couponing I do get beyond excited about good deals and I will buy 12 boxes of cereal if it means they are $.12 each. I do not spend money unless I have a coupon or I have done my best to find the best deal possible.
Evaluate Your Lifestyle
For my husband and I we are very social people. We love to go out with friends and family for dinner. However, that would mean a bill of $35-$50 easily if we both had dinner and a couple of drinks. Well, when I did the math we were spending at least $200 a month on these dinners and $200 x 12months is $2400. Look at all of that savings just by making meals at home and inviting friends/family over for dinner instead. We also would grab fast food or pizza quite often during the week whether that meant at our lunch hours or on the way home from work. I figured we spent at least another $50 a month or $600 a year because we were too lazy to make our own meal. Yes, I said it we were just being lazy. Well so in my eyes that was $3000 that we were able to save easily. We still go out once in awhile but I will budget that into the month, it also makes those nights special and something to look forward to.
Vacations
This one was extremely hard for me. I LOVE my Mexico and I love going on vacation there. I knew that if I was truly going to cut unnecessary things out, big vacations had to be an obvious one. That put another $3000 at least in our savings per year. Instead we would take small vacations to Chicago or up to my beloved Traverse City.
These are 3 of the biggest ways I save money for IVF. There are so many other little things you can do to save money in your everyday life.
- Stop buying soda and alcohol, these items are so expensive. I love Diet Coke so I feel your pain on cutting out this one.
- Cut your dryer sheets in half, you will double your usage.
- Make freezer meals, when items such as meat go on special buy extra and make a few of your favorite freezer friendly meals. You will love having quick meals already prepared in the freezer, you see how this works now you wont go out to dinner or stop by for that fast food.
- Sell things. If you aren't using an item but someone else could, why not try to sell it.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Simple Joys and Side Effects
I did not blog yesterday for a couple of reasons.
- I spent the day with my amazing nephew Mason, my sister-in law and my husband's Grams.
- The second reason was that the side effects to my meds have officially kicked in and staying in the house was just not something I wanted to do.
 |
| Mason and I |
I promised myself that I would be honest in this blog about the good, bad and ugly of the IVF process. We will be having a frozen embryo transfer sometime towards the end of February beginning of March. I will be on meds the entire time, which will very as the process continues. The current shot that I take is called Lupron. Now for many woman Lupron does not bring any side effects, however, not for this girl. My side effects have included:
1.) Hot Flashes: I will wake up in the middle of the night with far less clothing on then when I fell asleep.
2.) Terrible headaches: I tend to get headaches anyway but these headaches are much different.
3.) Mood swings: I think I spent much of the day Wednesday just crying. Crying about anything and
everything.
4.) Pain and Discomfort: This is the real kicker. As the Lupron starts to do it's job it can become very
uncomfortable and at times painful. It's hard to describe other than to say you definitely notice that you
are manipulating our body. I have had very restless sleeps because I am just so uncomfortable. I do not
remember this from the previous times.
However, I know my goal and if that means a little discomfort I am prepared for that. Any of you that are considering IVF, know that every case is different I know many woman who had very little side effects on any IVF med. Of course, I also know woman who have had more extreme side effects. This is one piece of advice I have for anyone taking this next step, if you are the type that does not tolerate medication, pain, and if you are uncomfortable having doctors and nurses look at your you know what.
Get over it really quick!
For me the knowing that my husband and I are meant to be parents keeps me going. Let me tell you that the moment I hear those words, "Stef, it worked your pregnant." will be the most blessed day of my life and one that only Faith and Prayers will ever be able to explain.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Simple Living: Organizing Tupperware
My advice to you is to go through all of your Tupperware and sort out anything that does not have a lid and/or is stained/damaged in anyway. Throw those items away, I'm sure you have plenty more.
 |
| My Tupperware before sorting. |
 |
| Can't wait for Michigan Blueberries! |
 |
| Quick "Free" Fix |
 |
| Finished. I know it seems so simple but it made my day! |
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Why IVF
Thank you so much for the out pouring of support and well wishes! I have received multiple emails asking why we made the decision to seek out IVF. I have been in the IVF world for so long that I often forget many people have never heard of or know of certain terms I use often. So to answer the question, "why IVF," it's because IVF is the ONLY way I can become pregnant with a child.
Our IVF life started after we suffered our 3rd Ectopic pregnancy and I was left with no Fallopian Tubes. For those of you that don't remember high school sex-ed, you need Fallopian Tubes to get pregnant, the traditional way that is. An Ectopic pregnancy is when the baby grows outside the Uterus. Ectopic pregnancies are extremely painful and is the leading cause of death during pregnancy.
My 1st Ectopic was quite scary as I lost 6 quarts of blood and was in unbearable pain, as a result my right tube was removed. My 2nd Ectopic occurred in the little area between my Uterus and where my right tube previously was (this is rare according to my previous OB, lucky me). The 3rd Ectopic was beyond heartbreaking as we had found out we were pregnant right at 4 weeks we were super excited and were waiting until my scheduled doctors appointment later that week to tell our family. I started cramping a bit and then the pain hit and I just knew, if you have ever experienced an Ectopic then you know that the pain is out of this world. The baby was growing in my left Fallopian tube, which was later removed after making the decision that I could not handle another Ectopic and the odds that we would have another were extremely high.
And so my IVF life began. We met our wonderful doctor, Dr. Dodds and off we went. Since dealing with our infertility issues multiple close friends and family are now dealing with infertility. Infertility cones in so many forms however I can say without doubt the emotions are usually the same. I would give anything to not be in this situation, but since I am and at this point am ready to share, I hope to be able to help others.
Our IVF life started after we suffered our 3rd Ectopic pregnancy and I was left with no Fallopian Tubes. For those of you that don't remember high school sex-ed, you need Fallopian Tubes to get pregnant, the traditional way that is. An Ectopic pregnancy is when the baby grows outside the Uterus. Ectopic pregnancies are extremely painful and is the leading cause of death during pregnancy.
My 1st Ectopic was quite scary as I lost 6 quarts of blood and was in unbearable pain, as a result my right tube was removed. My 2nd Ectopic occurred in the little area between my Uterus and where my right tube previously was (this is rare according to my previous OB, lucky me). The 3rd Ectopic was beyond heartbreaking as we had found out we were pregnant right at 4 weeks we were super excited and were waiting until my scheduled doctors appointment later that week to tell our family. I started cramping a bit and then the pain hit and I just knew, if you have ever experienced an Ectopic then you know that the pain is out of this world. The baby was growing in my left Fallopian tube, which was later removed after making the decision that I could not handle another Ectopic and the odds that we would have another were extremely high.
And so my IVF life began. We met our wonderful doctor, Dr. Dodds and off we went. Since dealing with our infertility issues multiple close friends and family are now dealing with infertility. Infertility cones in so many forms however I can say without doubt the emotions are usually the same. I would give anything to not be in this situation, but since I am and at this point am ready to share, I hope to be able to help others.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Simple Living: Memories in My Kitchen
I have wonderful memories in kitchens. From my grandparents kitchen watching in awe as my Gramps cut up that turkey at Thanksgiving, to the memory of my Dad putting a cow's head in the freezer and teaching us how to cook with it, to my Mom teaching me how a busy mom cooks, to our family friend's Hela and Rick's kitchen making Christmas Cookies every year (they even gave me as a wedding shower gift the same cookie cutters we used all those year ago), for me many kitchens have created wonderful, wonderful memories.
Living life slower and more simply means taking a step back and giving whatever I can give to those around me. So this is a gift that I give to Gabby and any children that come into my home, my kitchen and wonderful memories in it. That to me is what a kitchen is all about LOVE.
I encourage each of you to find a memory that you have in a kitchen as a child and to experience that with someone else as an adult.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Start of IVF Medication
Here is my fertility history in a nutshell. My husband and I have suffered 3 ectopic pregnancies and 2 failed rounds of IVF. Today we started the procedure for our 3rd round...3rd times a charm right??
There are mixed emotions tonight, as I have recently quit my job to focus on relaxation and giving us the very best opportunity to have a child of our own. Don't get me wrong I know that we are blessed to even have that option but part of me thinks...this is just another decision that only women would ever have to make. Ok, so that was my poor me moment.
I am, however, SUPER EXCITED. We (that's right my husband is amazing and draws all the medication into vials for me), just got done taking our first shot of Lupron. I will be waiting for the side effects tomorrow, the last 2 times I've taken Lupron there have been some headaches and a few mood swings, worst then my normal mood swings that is, haha.
My wish tonight is that in a little under 2 months I can post to you all that all our dreams have come true :)
...Day 1
Yes, it is Day 1. For me today is Day 1 for so many things.
- Day 1 as a stay at home wife. For those around me I bet you never thought you would hear me say that.
- Day 1 of, "Sweet Moments with Steffie." I'm so excited to be writing this blog. I can't wait to share ideas with you about simple and frugal living. Also to write about what's going on in my life, specifically IVF (InVitro Fertilization).
- Day 1 of our 3rd round of IVF. I will write more about my story in future posts.
I hope you enjoy the blog as much as I look forward to writing it!
Stefanie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)